Had to be a HE. I love female politicians, the combination of the opposite sex and all that power talk is too good to hate. So lets assume I get a call from the office of politician Mr X. and they say that he would love top pop in for dinner in a couple of days time. They transfer some cash into my account (its recession time folks, and no politician deserves a free meal) and ask me to whip up something that will show him how I am likeminded people think about him. Go global the office says, don’t hold back. So, I go onto some food website and ask people about what food they would cook for their least favourite politician. The site crashes, but before that happens I have kind of figured my four course meal.
You can stop reading now and simply comment, or soldier on.
I decide on a set menu with an Oriental theme. Let’s be honest, most of the weirdest things know to be palatable come from China, Japan, Korea, etc.
Starter: Pig brain Soup – This dish is eaten throughout the Far East. This soup is quite yummy (they say) once you get past the lumpy bits of floating brain. It would take me a lifetime to get past that. Mine would be Thai influenced with coconut milk and Thai red curry paste.
Appetizer: Shirako Maki (see picture) – sushi made from cod sperm sacs. Yes, raw fish sperm rolled with seaweed into sushi. As you can imagine, these sacs are pretty delicate and you cannot roll them too tightly into a maki roll as the will burst and…. (Will leave you to imagine what I mean)
Main course: This dish is the ultimate. Braised horse penis. Yes, horse penis is eaten quite a lot in China and other countries with weird people and name like Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan. Usually served at traditional weddings, it is considered a mark of respect to be offered horse penis. Women are however not encouraged to eat it as it causes a deep voice and aids the development of facial hair. But it’s good fro the skin. A risk worth taking? Husky voices are sexy; you can always hook up some chemical hair removal job. The braised penis will have Chinese five spice, with an extra touch of star anise for that aniseed flavor.
Dessert – Durian ice cream. This is quite a let down after the three courses I described above. Durian is actually quite nice; I had some in Singapore a couple of years ago. The only revolting thing is the smell. Man, it stinks. It’s so bad that’s it’s a crime in Singapore to carry it when using public transport. Most airlines don’t allow it on their planes. The durian ice cream is a bit stiffer than normal ice cream, so imagine cold sweet pap/polenta and you are close.
So, there you have it. My four course meal for my least favourite politician. I would expect him to bring drinks, but if not then I would serve him some rice wine vinegar with pickled snake hearts.
Yummy. What would you remove from my menu, and what would you replace it with?
